Why Don't We Express the Bad Side of Parenting?
When I first had children, no one let me in on everything I would experience as a mother. I've written a piece on this before. The little things that happen (good and bad) that you won't find in the parenting books and mothers aren't posting upon their social media accounts.
No one told me that my children would try to set their blankets on fire, that they would chew on poop to "try it" or that they would look up big mom butts on their tablets when they were only 10 years old. I started off being genuinely upset by the fact that no one felt the need to fill me in on these little details.
Part of me assumed that it was some sick joke that all the other mothers I knew were in on. Like some crazy initiation ritual into the life of motherhood. Overtime, I realized that the bad things that have happened throughout my parenting journey are also not the top aspects on my list when I explain parenting to another women who is on the verge of becoming a mother either.
I realized that we don't share these little issues with new moms because they aren't as important as the good things. When I think of things to tell others about my kids... I end up talking about their progress in school, the first time our youngest said, "I love you" and the cards they made me last Mother's Day.
Sure, if someone asks me about the bad points of parenting, I'm shy to advise them, but it's not the first thing I express when asked about my kids. This lowered my irritation levels towards the mothers I spoke of previously. You know, the one's I went to for advice about parenting before my journey began. In fact, I started to be pleased with the fact that they left those things out. I feel like if I had known all the bad that would happen, I would have been less likely to choose parenting when going over my life choices.
It's amazing how your thought process can change towards a matter once you've experienced it for yourself. Maybe that's one of the reasons we don't express the bad things. We want you to experience it for yourself. Another reason could be that not all children act the same, so the issues that I've experienced... you may never come in contact with.
Honestly, some of the bad parts of parenting that I have run into are some of the best stories about my parenting journey. At the time, I felt like my world was falling apart... but today, it's a silly conversation I can have with my kids about them growing up... or at a party with other couples where we swap fun parenting stories.
What is the best parenting story you have? I'd love to hear it.
🧡Shine Bright, Kayla