Recently I have come to find my children giving me that wry smile. Frustration sets in and collects at the base of my brain similar to water pooling at the bottom of a well. I'm not hip or cool anymore, that much is clear, but I still don't see the point in mocking my attempts at young jargon and trending topics.
I was once a pre-teen; I remember rolling my eyes every time my mother called me 'homie' or when she bought a new outfit that was considered 'in'. It used to make me mortified. As if she was attempting to do these things for the specific purpose of ruining my life and embarrassing me. Now that I am a mother myself, I have realized that she was trying to connect with me on a more personal level. On my level. Instead of being supportive and appreciative, I was wry to her and angry. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have never acted that way. Realizing how I feel, which is probably the exact way I made her feel, makes me want to call her and apologize. Regardless of the fact that she will not understand why and might think I'm crazy.
Never in my wildest dreams, did I anticipate I would begin to realize the effect my actions had on my mother until I started to have children of my own. They mock me daily for the silliest things, the same way I did to my mother. So, the question remains - Why do they continue to mock me, even after asking them to stop and explaining to them the way it makes me feel?
The silly, yet accurate, answer is -- They're kids. Just like younger me, they aren't under the impression that anything they say or do is emotionally affecting me. In fact, half of my children would not even know what 'emotionally affecting' means. Reminding myself of that fact has lightened the blow a bit. It still hurts though. These tiny humans are filled with all the same emotions you are, we are just better at hiding those emotions than they are. They will learn with time, as you did. For now, they will roll their eyes, they will huff under their breath, and they will tell you they hate you (even when you know they don't). I'm still fighting through these things on a daily basis. Me, the person that is telling you everything is going to be okay and that they know not what they do. I'm human. It is unavoidable.
My advice, to myself and you, don't allow the things they say and do hit you too hard. Those little humans love you, cherish you and look to you for comfort and safety. Right now, they're upset and they're taking it out on you. Let it go, let them breath. It's only a matter of time before hugs are given and all is well. That's the amazing thing about parenting, isn't it? The adorable tikes will always give you what you need, even if you need it because of their previous actions.