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When Providing Romance: Remember That There are Different Love Languages

In relationships, we sometimes feel we have to go above and beyond to show our spouse that we love and appreciate them. This is a good and normal thing. However, we must remember that not everyone we love has the same wants and needs when it comes to romance and affection than we do or the people we used to date did.

If you are one of those people that just needs to have your spouse in the same room with you to feel appreciated, that doesn't mean it's the same for your spouse. They may need positive words of affirmation or gifts to be reminded that you care. This is a problem among many couples today. We want so badly to remind our partner that we care about and appreciate them, but we do so in a way that comes natural to us rather than asking them what they need to feel that love and appreciation.

If you are one of the people who fall into this category, don't fret. It's a common issue and can be changed. All you need to do is communicate with your partner. Sit down and have a conversation about what you are looking for to be loved and what they are looking for. Maybe even sit down together and take the The Love Language® Quiz. That way you both can gain a clear understanding of what each of you require. You may find that what they are looking for is something easier to obtain than what you have been attempting to accomplish or obtain.

Let's go over the five possible Love Languages.

(In no particular order)

  1. Physical Touch: This type of love language does not specify itself to intercourse. It could be simple things such as holding hands, kissing or even just laying down with one another watching television. For instance, one of my favorite things that my husband does for me is he lovingly runs his hand down my cheek. It gives me this feeling of connection that I have never felt before.

  2. Receiving Gifts: Flowers and candy are great, but this could be a gift in any capacity. Maybe your spouse made you a card, created something for you with their Cricut or etched something into a piece of glass. The gift doesn't have to be purchased; it just has to be something that shows your loved one that you were thinking of them.

  3. Quality Time: Laying together while watching a movie or playing a video game, walking to the corner store together or doing a painting project as a couple. All of these are good options for someone who feels the love when quality time is being spent. Proving your partner with your direct attention for a while to remind them of the place they hold in your heart.

  4. Words of Affirmation: Compliments and sweet comments are what are needed here. Reminding your partner how attractive you find them, that they are doing amazing things or that you're proud of them; can go a long way with those that require this type of love.

  5. Acts of Service: Taking on some of the weight that is weighing on your partners shoulders. If your spouse is financially supporting the household and seems to be struggling, find a way to assist them. Such as obtaining a part time of job, starting a small business or changing the bills to maintain a budget that works with your income. If your spouse is maintaining the home and the kids, allow them to take a break every once in a while. Start a load of laundry, take the kids to the park or fix dinner.

We are all different people, with different wants and needs. If we can pinpoint the needs of our partner when it comes to love and affection, we can aid to those and make our bonds stronger. Relationships need work and compromises. You need to work together to find what works for you as a unit to continue your relationship and allow it to flourish and expand into something amazing.

Don't allow miscommunications within your relationship to become a means to an end. Communicate, compromise, and try to understand each other's love language.

🧡Shine Bright, Kayla

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