Was I A Good Mother?
We wonder what we will leave behind. What our children will think of when someone says our name in mixed company.
Was I a good mother?
Did I guide them in the right direction?
Did I give them the tools they need to succeed?
Was I too strict?
Was I too lax?
Will they remember what I sacrificed?
These thoughts swim through our minds as if there is nowhere to fall.
The reality is, there is no rule book to parenting. Sure... there are books on how to feed a child, how to reprimand a child, how to connect with a child and so on. However, each family is different. There is no guarantee that everything that has been written or suggested will work for your family as it has done for so many others.
Sure, books like The Wonder Weeks, Raise Good Humans and How to Stop Losing Your Shit With Your Kids are good and contain helpful information, but that doesn't mean that they are going to be specific to your and your children's current needs.
No ma'am, you're going to have to play it by ear each step of the way. You're going to make mistakes. You're going to have to learn to say I'm sorry to a tiny human more than you would like and you're going to have to understand that the possibility of being the perfect parent is nonexistent. Mostly, you're going to have to understand that all of these things are okay.
You're human. It is expected for you to make blunders and second guess your decisions. People would be more confused if you never did.
Think about it, when was the last time you questioned something you saw on social media?
That mom has a clean house, clean kids and is able to keep a perfect manicure? She must have a nanny or something...
Sound familiar? It should. We all do it. We all do it because being perfect is not normal. Always having everything in order is not something that is consistently done. In fact, many assume that people have help they don't disclose or irritations they never provide.
The key here is to remember you're not alone. Many of the parents reading this (and the one writing it) are all going through similar issues you are, and although we may not say it out loud or broadcast it on social media... we're just as clueless as you are.