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  • Writer's pictureKayla

Use These Steps to Gain Influence Over Your Feelings and Feel Like You Again

I just started a new job last week. Now, during this first training week, I was a bit unsure about myself in many ways! Yes, even me. I asked myself questions like, "Am I really able to do this?", "Will I measure up to the others?" and "Am I in way above my head?"

I went over all different ways to try and overcome this surge of self-doubt that engulfed me. I started doing yoga, meditation and practicing mindfulness. Although they seemed to assist me in some areas of my issues, I was still running into those concerning questions. I was still getting butterflies when I walked into work, and I was so nervous and anxious. Something was missing... I needed to stop holding myself back. I started to leave little messages on my bathroom mirror and talking to myself in the mornings. I would tell myself things like "You can do this," "You are strong," and "The time is now."

If you can bring yourself to do this, you can heighten your awareness and your view of the world around you.

Looking at things from a different point of view or change your awareness of your experiences is a powerful thing. If you run into a feeling that makes you unhappy or that you just flat-out dislike, find the reason for the feeling within your brain. Take the time to identify where the feeling derives from and think about how large the feeling is and how it's moving through your body. Kind of like when you get that deep pit feeling in your stomach when you feel something is wrong (what others may call a gut feeling.) yeah, like that.

Even though we all might say that we always know how we are feeling, you would be amazed at how many people truly don't. We may have an idea or an assumption, but that doesn't mean that we truly know or understand our feelings as they come. Emotions are a physical thing as well as mental.

Once you have found the feeling, accept it. Allow yourself to be okay knowing you are dealing with that feeling.

Obviously, we're not all going to be experts at accepting our feelings right from the start. You could be in the mindset that you do not want to have that feeling or you shouldn't have to deal with that feeling. Right?

Completely understandable, however, you ARE feeling it and if you're looking to remove the feeling, the quickest way to do that is to find the reason for the feeling, the location of that feeling and accept that the feeling is there. Refusing to go through this process is the same as resisting it, which will have that feeling settling in for an extended stay. It's hard to get through a process if you refuse the process. Wouldn't you agree?

Now, since I'm going to assume that you have given in and accepted that the feeling is within you. It's time to find the core reason for the feeling. What is your subconscious trying to let you know? Feelings can be a way that our bodies explain things to us and get us to realize something or can be our bodies trying to do something positive for us.

Stay in that place and focus on the feeling. Allow it to flow through you and don't put up a fight. Breath through it and allow it to tell you what you need to know.

This can be for a very short or long time, depending on your preference, but it is good for you mentally and physically to allow your body to really feel that feeling. Yes, even if it's a bad feeling. Feeling things remind you that you are alive and in touch with your thoughts and inner core. Sometimes, giving in to your feelings is all your body really needs.

Lastly, allow yourself to think of the feeling in different ways. Play around with different scenarios of the subject. Maybe it was a dialog with another person... go over different outcomes. Maybe it was a large feeling... allow it to grow or shrink it. Dive deep inside yourself to see how you can twist and turn your feeling in a way that benefits you. What influences do you have over this feeling? If you take a moment to try this, I think your amount of influence will surprise you.


After practicing these tips every so often, you'll begin to realize the hold you have over your feelings and your ability to mold them into something that is positive for you. You'll start to learn more about who you are as a person and how you tick. You'll begin to realize that feelings are just the minds way of telling you things or pushing you to a realization of some kind. This means that your feelings are neither good nor bad. They are a steppingstone to a change.

Am I giving you the fountain of freedom when it comes to feelings? No, you'll still have good and bad feelings throughout your life. No matter how much influence you have upon them. However, I am giving you the ability to mold your feelings into something desirable for you and your mental health.

I hope this has been a helpful experience for you and that from this day forward, you are able to handle your feelings head on. Regardless of what they might be.

🧡Shine Bright, Kayla

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