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  • Writer's pictureKayla

Quit Smoking: 18 Years of Poison. I’m Scared My Lungs Can’t Take It Anymore

I pride myself on being a woman that always works so hard to reach her goals. However, there is one thing in this life that, no matter how hard I try, I just can’t do.

Quit Smoking…

Some people think it makes them seem sophisticated and more adult looking...

I think it makes me look like a moron with a problem and someone who can’t get her shit together.

What’s terrible is that I’m smoking a cigarette as I write this to you all…

I’ve even written about it before. I made it about 3 weeks before I caved and fell right back into the vicious cycle of purchasing, smoking, coughing and repeating.

For 18 miserable years, I have been victim to what Alan Carr calls, the Nicotine Monster. I began smoking with a little girl I was babysitting when I was 13 years old. Yup, the little girl was younger than me, 9 years old, and already a smoker. That my friends, was back in 2004.

What’s silly is, when I first began, I hated smoking. It stunk, made me cough and was something I had to hide from my parents. Yet I still continued to accept the death sticks when they were offered to me. Right up to the point where I was actively looking to gain them each day. Yearning for something that would suffocate me every time I put it to my mouth.

I know, it’s weird to me too.

Over the past three years, I have attempted to quit smoking 13 different times…. with no luck. I’ve tried everything from buying vape pens, going cold turkey, nicotine gum and nicotine patches.

I have even been listening to the book ‘Alan Carr’s Easy Way to Stop Smoking’ every night before I go to bed, for the last three months. And yet, here I am….

Still a victim to the poison.

I cringe when I think about the fact that I spend ACTUAL money on something that smells disgusting, harms my body, bones and organs, and sets a bad example for my children. Even knowing all of these horrible things… I still buy another pack each day I have the funds. My goal is to be without cigarettes entirely by October 31st of this year. I am channeling all of my extra focus on getting this done. I am going to reach out to others I know who have quit and see what tips they can provide to me as well as reach out to my followers on social media for tips.

Since the past tells me that I keep floundering under the need for nicotine. I’m not going to punish myself if I fail, I’m just going to try again.

If there is anyone reading this that has been able to stop the cycle and focus on a nicotine-free life; please leave me a comment and let myself and others know how you were able to do it. Maybe we can all help each other onto a path to a longer and healthier life.

🧡Shine Bright, Kayla Copyright © 2022 Kayla Tackett

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