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I Think My OCD is Growing

My OCD seems to be getting worse. Last night I spent 4 hours forcing myself to stay in bed rather than continuing to get my house in order. I kept thinking of all the things that still need to be done, new ideas for the house and drank Pepsi out of a wine glass. (I’m classy like that)

As I sat there, pondering all of these things… I realized that my mind had wandered on to additional things that needed to be done.

Isn’t it amazing… what can happen while thinking.

We can go from thinking about our home, shift over to our job, that has us thinking about finances and then somehow, we end up thinking about our children and the things they want/need.

I take this thought process to the extreme though. I’ll start pondering on things that won’t be coming for months, or even years. Trying to get ahead of things so I don’t run into surprises — I’m not the biggest fan of surprises. I’m one of those people who want to have everything done and accounted for the minute I think of it so I don’t have to worry.

Which sounds wonderful, but it can get in the way of other things. I’ll spend the day cleaning my house from the moment I wake up until it’s time to go to bed and then my children will be asking me to play games or watch a movie.

I really need to prioritize a bit better. So, in order to evade missing time with my family because of my crazy OCD, I have started entering in the time to play with my kids and connect with my husband in my daily to-do lists. (I work better with a plan, of course.)

It has started to help a bit. Also, I have asked if my kids want to help me with some of the things I need to get done around the house. We clean, listen to music and talk about their lives. Two birds — one stone.

Some people have suggested that I take medications for my OCD or to seek therapy. I keep telling myself that there are worse things that could be wrong with me… Which is true — but the extremes that I end of going to make me believe they may be right.

I’m not sure if I’ll do it though. I suppose time will tell.

🧡Shine Bright, Kayla

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