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  • Writer's pictureKayla

Getting Unwanted Parenting Advice?

Today, everyone, myself included, has advice for new or expecting parents. However, it is sometimes easier to give advice than it is to take it. Let's take a look.

Throughout my time as a parent, taking the time to listen to other parents has helped me more than I could ever expect. That being said, there are other times when I was given advice that did not help me in the slightest. In fact, it only made things worse.

Samuel, my firstborn, was diagnosed with ADHD, and of course, everyone I talked to about the diagnosis had their own opinions on what medications he should gain, or brain scans I should schedule. There were so many things, that I could not even get my own thoughts straight. In the end we had to follow Samuel's lead and see what worked for him specifically. Every bit of advice we had received ended up going out the window anyway.

Then there was my third child, Lillian. Everyone we spoke to kept insisting things like:

"You should probably stop having kids",
"Are you sure you're done yet?",
or my personal favorite, "You know what causes that don't you?".

All the same song and dance we've been hearing since child number two. This time, we decided to listen and planned to get my tubes tied after Lillian was born, but when we went to the six-week post pardon appointment we were shocked to find out we were pregnant YET AGAIN with baby number four.

Violet was not planned and was a bigger surprise than any of our other children, but we were excited regardless. So, you can imagine our sadness when we reached week 38 and were told our daughter had passed away to stillbirth. Our world was shattered. I spent over a week in our bed, trying to make sense out of life and our future moving forward. Once we had gotten past our daughter's funeral and learning to integrate family therapy into our lives, we were met with another difficult task. Our doctor wanted to know if we were ready to move forward with tubal litigation.

I was unrealistically infuriated at our doctor's question. How could I make a decision like that in light of the recent events?

We took a year of birth control, to weigh the pros and cons of continuing to grow our family. We listened to all of our friends and family tell us their opinions and suggestions. In the end it was clear. What was best for our family, was to have another piece to fit the hole our puzzle now held. And Ta-da! Leo was born. Our now two-year-old son who holds the string that twines our family together.

In a nutshell, some advice is okay to listen to, others are okay to avoid. In the end, even if you listen to someone's good advice, you're more than likely going to turn around and do what you think is best for you regardless.

🧡Shine Bright, Kayla

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