There are many things in this world that can bother another person. Although it’s not popular, there are some that set their sights on pissing off those people every chance they get. If you are one of those people. This one’s for you!
Chew loudly: There’s nothing more irritating than someone that can’t keep their gullet shut while sifting through the troth. The disgusting noises and chances of food flying out of your mouth will increase the anger within your prey.
Talk in the third person: Think Ron Burgendy — Always speak of yourself as a superior to anyone and everyone and compliment yourself on a regular basis.
Be a Dick: This one may sound simple, but it takes practice to get it right. When someone asks you a question, answer with a question. When someone asks for help, advise they are beneath you so it would be a waste of your talent. Shit like that.
Never pay on group outings: Forget your wallet, explain your bank account or just walk away from the table before the check comes. Wanna get steam coming out of their ears? Order the most expensive items you can find for dinner and don’t finish them.
Give handmade backrub coupons as gifts: Yes, even to your boss. Most individuals will get pissed, refuse your offer and throw them away. It’s a win-win for you — You didn’t spend any money and you don’t have to do anything. Still gave a gift though #winning.
Your days of being the pleasant and likable friend are soon going to be coming to an end after following these simple yet brilliant steps! Get started, be the best asshole you can be and perfect your skills of pissing people off!
Remember: This is strictly for comic relief. No one likes a dick, who’s a dick just to be a dick. Stay Safe Everyone!
For some more laughs, if you find yourself running into others that piss you off consistently — Check out this book called Numb Nuts: a book for dealing with morons and people who piss you off!
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🧡Shine Bright, Kayla