Updated: Jun 7, 2022
AHHHHHH - Excuse me while I sip this wine. --
Okay, that's better.
Today is the day I almost began my career on the television show "Cops" -- I am a biological mother of 4 beautiful angels... well.. maybe not angels. You get the idea. As you can probably guess, one of my little angels has brought me to the point of no return. Actually, it's two of them. My eleven year old son and my eight year old son are constantly fighting. This is usually a norm for young male siblings. WWE pillow fights, playing chicken with their bikes in the backyard or trying to suffocate each other with piles of blankets at bedtime. You know, the usual. Mind you, they do not consider this fighting. They describe it as "fun".
This morning however, they decided to give me a new kind of heart attack. They have found a new game to play with me that they find HILARIOUS. It's called "pretend to be lost" - Now, for those of you who don't quite understand, this is where one of my boys hides and the other comes to me in a pretend panic expressing that the other is missing.
For 45 minutes, I am frantically looking all over the house, the yard, the cars - EVERYWHERE trying to find my child. After so long, my eight-year-old cannot contain himself any longer and begins hysterically laughing to the point he falls on the floor. With tears falling down my face I instantly hit a point of anger I didn't think was possible and begin to scream at him asking what is so funny.
And he goes... "Samuel you can come out now I don't think she'll ever find you... " --less than a moment later here comes the eleven-year-old (also hysterically laughing at me ). Through his breaths he's able to take, he goes, "We got you so good"
Listen, I love my children very much. It is that love, and only that, that kept me from wearing a fashionable orange jumpsuit for the rest of my life. I expressed to them the dangers of the game they've created and pleaded that they never try anything like that again..
but, as they're walking away, I hear Samuel whisper " You'll hide next time, she'll go crazy"
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Aaaand.. this is why god invented wine.