Sadly, many of us have had a broken heart at least once in our lifetime. Even though the beginning of the relationships we have normally begin in the 'Honeymoon' phase, they normally come to an end. Life presents us changes that separate us and we are left to pick up the pieces of our shattered heart. We tend to make such strong and deep connections with others and feel as if our life is broken when those connections unravel. We can feel depressed, angry, hopeless, sad and worried for the future.
There is no magical remedy that can be a quick fix for this issue. However, following a few steps may help your recovery go a bit smoother.
Step 1: Accepting that it's over: No matter how the relationship ended, you need to give yourself time to accept that things have ended. I'm aware that many of us will hold out hope for reconciliation but accepting the separation will help you to move forward each day. Acceptance is one of the steps in grieving. Allow yourself to get through this difficult situation by letting yourself feel any feelings you have, but don't get consumed within them. Even though your spouse is gone, your life must go on. Focus on the things you have control over and push forward.
Step 2: Take A Good Look in the Mirror: This experience may have changed you a bit from before you met your Ex. Losing someone can affect our future, our dreams, who we are and what we dream about. We begin to think of ourselves as the one who has been left (or had to leave), the one betrayed or the one who made a wrong decision. We take a huge blow to our ego when we cannot make a relationship work. Look deep within yourself and be completely honest about the ongoings through that relationship. Lying to yourself or others may affect your connections in the future. Listen to what your friends and family have to say about your previous relationship, even if you don't agree with what they have to say. Make changes if you feel it necessary. Get a haircut, change your style or even change jobs. Sometimes a change of scenery can assist with knowing who you really are without your Ex.
Step 3: Forgive yourself: Regardless of the situation that ultimately ended your relationship, you want to be sure that you take responsibility for your part. If your ex was a horrible individual who did horrible things - forgive yourself for not getting out sooner. Forgive yourself for falling in love with the wrong person... If you are the one that did wrong, forgive yourself for making the mistake. Forgive yourself for making decisions that ultimately ended your relationship. We have a tendency to blame ourselves in certain situations, even if we've done nothing wrong. So, forgive yourself for whatever it is that you feel you did or didn't do.
Step 4: Keep Living: Push through, one day at a time. If there was a routine that you would do with your spouse each morning, create a new routine for yourself. Rather than sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee before work like you did with him or her, head down to the nearest coffee shop and read a chapter of a book instead. Connect with old friends you would spend more time with before your ex came into the picture. Make plans with family to keep your mind moving. Take a spin class, start a monthly brunch with co-workers or join a Zumba group. Thrusting yourself into life can help you grow and thrive.
Step 5: Don't Give Up Hope: There is someone out there for you. Someone who will appreciate your craft projects, who will adore that you need an audible book playing in order to sleep and that you love old 80's movies. Yes, many relationships fail, and there are terrible people in this world. However, there are also long-lasting relationships and some amazing individuals roaming this rock. Hold onto that hope for a fairytale romance! One day it will come!
It hurts my heart that there are so many amazing people out there with so much love to give that are still waiting for their special someone. Finding so many frogs before they find their prince/princess.
Finding true love can sometimes feel like an unreachable fantasy. That doesn't mean it's impossible.
Keep searching, keep trying and keep putting yourself out there. You will never find anything if you don't look.
May you find all the love in the world.
🧡Shine Bright, Kayla