Imposter syndrome is a feeling that you are not good enough or that you did not earn your accomplishments.
We hear this term in a business or professional setting quite often.
Where we don’t normally hear that term is when you’re talking about parenting. However, I can say that I have fought with imposter syndrome when it comes to parenting much more than I would like to admit.
When someone tells me I’m a good mother and that I’m doing a great job… I can’t help but think in the back of my mind that they’re wrong. I keep replaying the things I could have or should have done better.
At one point, I was wanting to give up and my mother punched me in the leg for even saying those words out loud.
Fast forward 8 years, I have been able to fight through my imposter syndrome and find my confidence in myself.
If you are also struggling with this as a mother or father… I would like to share with you some of the ways I’ve been able to beat it.
Don’t focus on the negative. - Staying in a negative mindset can pull you back from reaching your goals. Your children are going to run into troubles that you don't have a quick fix for and that's fine. I know that it's easier to think of all the bad that can happen, but you have to focus your mind on the possible positive outcomes.
Find an outlet. - Some people choose meditation, going to a gym or writing. Whatever works for you to get yourself out of your head is the best bet. Myself personally, I choose many different outlets. My go-to's are hitting a casino, writing or Yoga.
Look at mistakes as opportunities to learn. - We tend to associate mistakes to failing. Doing this can pull you off track and some even end up quitting to avoid failure. Don't allow yourself to fall into that mold. There are little humans counting on you. Look at the mistake you made as a learning opportunity and a way to improve.
Forgive yourself. - We are way too hard on ourselves. Particularly when it comes to raising our children. We know our abilities and when we faulter, we end up acting as if we can't do it. Cut yourself some slack. You, like everyone else, are not perfect... you're human.
Lighten up. - It's understandable to try to keep grit and focus when it comes to trying to raise well-rounded humans. We all want to be seen as a parent who always has their ducks in a nice little row. However, that's not realistic. Lighten up, have fun with things even if they don't go the way you originally planned.
We are harder on ourselves than others are on us. We are always our own worst critic. This is because we know what we are capable of.
Don’t micromanage everything, don’t be so hard on yourself and don’t give up!
Your children love you unconditionally. They don’t care if you forgot to do the dishes yesterday, they don’t mind if you give them Mcdonal's for dinner (in fact, they will probably prefer it) and they don’t want perfection.
They want to laugh with you and receive love from you. That is what they will remember.
🧡Shine Bright, Kayla