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  • Writer's pictureKayla

11 Things My Children Do That No One Warned Me About

Throughout my whole life, I wanted to be a mother. The constant “I love Yous”, the hugs and the smiles…

However, no one told me of the things I would go through as a parent.

I thought, as a courtesy to all the mothers and soon-to-be mothers out there, that I share some of them with you.

  • When my first child was one… I came home from work one day to a smiling baby in a pack and play. Chewing on something… That something? A ball of poop..

  • About a year ago, my oldest child was playing with our youngest child in his bassinet. From the other room, we hear, “Stop crying ya pu**y.”… We broke his GTA5 game.

  • Walking through the hallway of our home, I didn’t see my daughter and almost tripped. I apologized and laughed as I twirled into the kitchen. My daughter turns around and says, “At least I’m okay mom!”

  • My second oldest found a torch lighter and decided his room needed a makeover… four scorched blankets and a destroyed gaming chair later…

  • Kids playing in the backyard of a family members home. The oldest decides he is going to be a frog… in a smoldering fire pit. — It was my first time in the Childrens Hospital burn unit.

  • One child tried to run into traffic.

  • One child tried to walk to school on a Saturday. I’m happy I put my contact information and our address in his backpack. The police found the house pretty easily.

  • A family outing to a restaurant. Our daughter, age four at the time, decides to attempt to run to her father. Full force she speeds forward and falls like a board after running into a handrail. (It was hilarious... you had to be there.)

  • One of my children may be a Picasso. One day I woke up to no crying. Any parent can confirm… that meant trouble. I walked into the room to my son, with a big smile, painting a mural on my wall with his diaper.

  • My oldest son (now 11) asked me about women and why they aren’t all naked.

  • The other day at the grocery store with my daughter and my mother… My sweet little angel looks at my mom and asks — How did you grow those? — pointing at my mother's chest.

There are many glorious attributes to parenting. So many adorable and photo-worthy moments. Then… there are moments like those shown above. Sometimes I wish I would have been advised of both sides of the spectrum so I could have weighed the pros and cons. I still would have had children, but still.

I’m a bit goofy... I know… My kids are a direct reflection.

🧡 Shine Bright, Kayla

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